apparently the secret to your success is patron
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
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