hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
God, I missed his penis.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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