He asked to "fluff my boner.."
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
