im having a threesome with these popsicles
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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