I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize