Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Randomize
