I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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