we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
