I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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