You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Randomize
