I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Watching her eat just hurts me
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
