It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
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