I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize