White coat. Heels.
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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