I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
there's paper in my vomit.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
