I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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