never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
