Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Randomize
