I want to make a zoo with you.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
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I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
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I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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