can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
