theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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