Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
i love accidental penises.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
