What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
