I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
