Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Randomize