guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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