i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
