either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
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