Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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