Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
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I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
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