please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
