Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Randomize