you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
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