ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
