i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
