Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I want to fling myself into the sun
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
