dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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