So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I could make wine with my vomit
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
