dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
