atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
