Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
this just has baby written all over it
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
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