'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
