How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
