just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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