I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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