he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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