I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize