So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize