Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
