You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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