i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
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