you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
