Kiss
Puke
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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