So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
