You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
