I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
