just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
