He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize
