i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
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