dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Randomize
