also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
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