Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
