Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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