I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
